Stepping Over

I've been wanting to blog for quite some time now. But, as with so many new ideas and desires, I was afraid. Yeah, I said it...AFRAID! I immediately began to question my ability to communicate anything helpful or of interest. I spent a lot of time questioning whether the world would even be interested in what I had to say. Until tonight.

Tonight I attended a special meeting at my church. Bro. Guy Evans was the speaker, all the way from sunny California. Not that far, but nevertheless his visit to our church body was purposeful. In his message he spoke about faith, confession, and training our spirit. Though I have heard a myriad of sermons on faith and confession, tonight I decided that if I'm here in attendance and he's here talking about it, then maybe I should also be listening.

So, just like that, I opened my heart and decided that what was being said was for me; was a special message from the Lord to me. And that what was being communicated was so important for me to hear, that God brought the messenger all the way from sunny California to present it to me. When put that way, it's hard not to open up and listen. And so I did. I listened.

Just then the unexpected began to happen. What I was hearing (on faith and confession) began to work it's way through the cracks and crevices of closed doors, on into rooms within my heart and mind I didn't know I'd locked up. You see, I was always under the impression that once you receive a truth from God, be it revelation, rhema, whatever...you were free to move on to greater understanding. So, in cases where I would hear a sermon message I'd heard before, I would check it off my list of 'Things I've Heard Before' and wait through it. Meanwhile, if I was honest with myself, truth was I still wrestled with the very issues those messages covered. I may not be the sharpest tool in the shed, but I'm far from the dullest. Tonight was the the night to do something new. Tonight was the night to be better. Tonight was the night to be open and listening. And I did.

It's so easy to adapt a "been-there/heard-that" attitude with just about anything in life. But when the Lord is speaking, whether through a pastor, a guest minister, a great book, radio, whatever, shouldn't I be available to Him at all times? I should be listening if for no other reason than the fact that I call Jesus "Lord". And, when I listened tonight, the Lord was there to resurrect the desire to blog. A desire I wasn't sure was His will for me. I was too afraid to even ask because of self-doubt and fear. But here I am.

Next time I'm tempted to disconnect from the message, no matter the reason, I will choose to let the Lord have dominance over my decision. Because? He is my Lord. And as my Lord, He is my source and provider of whatever I might need. Tonight I needed to step over fear like it was a dirty piece of gum stuck on the sidewalk. Tonight I needed to hear the words that would activate faith inside me. Tonight I went from talking about it to being about it.

That's what God's word does! It will take you from wanting to having. From dreaming to realization. From fearful to focused. But you've gotta be open and listening.